The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.
- Dr Nathaniel Branden. Learn a little about Paula here.

BUDGETING FOR THE HOUSEHOLD

One of the essentials of money management and wealth accumulation is the budget. A Budget is a plan that outlines an organization’s financial and operational goals (Ask.com). There are two of my favorite words: Plan and Goals! The budget is a guide that shows how our money is spent and one important thing to realize is that it does not only play a role in business organizations, but plays a fundamental role in personal wealth building.
The household should have a budget that shows how the money is distributed daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. This serves several purposes:
• It allows us to see how our salaries are distributed to bills, savings etc.
• It allows us to recognize areas of over-spending.
• It allows us to see how much we save.
• Thus allowing us to make projections for vacations, investments, business and personal ventures.
• It gives us a sense of having control over our finances instead of us not knowing ‘where it all went’.
Having a budget is easy, but all too often we make unrealistic projections, which force us to break the budget. The result is similar to breaking our New Year’s Resolution…do it once, it becomes easy to do again, and again, and again…
We don’t want this. We want a budget that is a realistic blueprint of our spending habits. Yesterday I designed a simplistic budget outline (my husband hates when I get complex), so I thought I would share it with you:

In this budget, we allocate one checking account for all our bill payments, so we ‘pool’ the total monthly projected expense into that account, ensuring we don’t ‘dip’ into it for anything BUT the planned expenses. It also allows us to curb our ‘entertainment’ spending; If it goes beyond the projection, then something else has to give: groceries or fuel (not the bills, or course), but this give-and-take method keeps the expense budget within the projected range.
Of course this is just the method that applies to our household. Each family is unique in its expenditure patterns and needs. Perhaps it is a single- income household, perhaps the family includes children… The family may even choose to allocate one person’s salary to handle the bills, while the other goes into savings. Perhaps each person is given the responsibility of individual expenses. Whatever the arrangements are, the fundamentals exit:
• Allocate AT LEAST 10% of the GROSS salary toward UNTOUCHED saving.
• Force yourself to save otherwise also. My husband and I have a ‘dollaaday’ jar that we MUST put $1 in daily. After is accumulates, we deposit it in the savings account.
• Save and invest your personal money also (my opinion).
• Your expenses should NOT exceed your income.
• Do not underestimate your expenses; it will cause you to continuously break your budget.
• Review your actual spending at the end of the month and see how closely it resembles the projections.
• Make necessary spending and saving adjustments to ensure a wealthy future!

The Measure of Success or Failure

My last blog referring to David Mulling’s (Co-founder Real Vibez Media) Facebook note got a tremendous response! Many persons were inspired by his revelation. When my article was featured on the front page of Fast Company.com (coupled with David’s PR dexterity), I was contacted by the author of The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur, Mike Michalowicz . Talk about the law of attraction!

I was sent an autographed copy of this great book (thanks Scott Bradley!) and I look forward to reading it and doing the juicy book review. I have already started on the preface, and I am cracking up. Mike uses humor throughout and his ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ quality has me looking forward to every chapter!

Anyway… that is just a teaser of what is to come. The book is for entrepreneurs with no clue, little resources and no experience…a.k.a… This was written for PAULA YEE SING-EDWARDS! But I am sure you can find some stuff that speaks to you too, after all, Mike printed enough copies for you too…

“The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur’s “get real”; actionable approach to business is a much-needed swift kick in the pants.”

I love it!!!

What I actually wanted to talk about today is… the measure of success or failure. I was speaking to my husband last night about my life experiences years ago and comparing them to my life today. In high school and university I was faced with much financial obstacles… no money for food, books…uniform… it was hard, BUT I persevered and achieved all my academic goals that I set. I earned a scholarship, awards, and even the ‘Student of the Year’ award for the University. Today, while developing my business and have faced so many roadblocks, I started feeling like a failure (I hate using that word to describe me- but I must be honest). I am continuously told that I am hard on myself… I can’t help it, I set high goals. This caused me to wonder about the other side…people who do NOT set goals. Do they suffer feelings of disappointment and failure? Or are they calm, cool and happy? If so…who is better off? The astute goal setter who is hard on herself or the calm individual who doesn’t suffer sadness due to obstacles?

If two individuals are in college, one works around the clock striving to do well while the other has no goal or interest in getting good grades, and at the end of the day they BOTH get Cs…. Did one fail and the other succeed? Did the hardworker fail in his efforts? Or did the carefree one succeed in spite of lack of effort?

Are success and failure relative? I NEVER thought of them being relative to individuals and circumstance. Of course I have thought about a successful person who makes tens of thousands as opposed to a successful person making millions, but both, in my mind were successful. But what if that “thousandaire” was striving for millions? Did he fail? If he tried a business venture and it went under, did he fail? If a counterpart had a business without any serious interest in its growth and development, and it went under….did he fail?

Are failure and success directly proportional to goals and efforts? Or are they standard entities that exist regardless… if both persons’ businesses go under, are they BOTH failures? The “Thousandaire” and the Millionaire…are they BOTH successful regardless of the set goals?

What are your thoughts? How do you measure your success?

The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur- Building Business Block by Block

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I read a Facebook note this morning that simply blew me away in its empirical simplicity and reality. It was by David Mullings, entrepreneur and co-founder of Random Media LLC which in turn owns and operates Real Vibez Media. Real Vibez is fast becoming a brand synonymous with quality media marketing and delivery; pioneering ways individuals access and enjoy Caribbean Culture and Entertainment.

David recently endorsed the book “The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur”, which I am eager to read and review (see his testimony on the back of the book). He is in great company with the likes of Donny Deutsch, Host of CNBC’s The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch & Chairman, Deutsch Inc. and Bill Bartmann, self-made billionaire & National Entrepreneur of the Year (twice) by USA Today, Inc., and E&Y & Founder of Billionaire Business Systems.

The note, titled “David’s Most Recent MBA vs. TPE Moment” (TPE=Toilet Paper Entrepreneur), was about David’s recent “Eureka!!” moment about building his business.

He received a mind-blowing tip from an advisor, “B” which simply stated:

“… prioritize the top 5 things and knock them down one by one. Build Rome brick by brick.”

David’s MBA thought process was to seek funding to pay a company to build the whole “house” at once but “my TPE brain says to start laying bricks right now instead of waiting on the loan approval to buy the house.”

How many of us still think that way? We have great ideas, but await the ‘big money’ before we can make progress.

STOP IT! Stop it now!

Hahaha! Sorry for the harsh reprimand. But in this day and age of entrepreneurship in the current economy, it seems the best solution may be the ONLY solutions… build Rome, build YOUR Empire… brick by brick. I am by no means an economist, nor do I consider myself an entrepreneurial expert. But I am a GREAT TPE student and apply things I learn daily to the development of my own businesses.

I have registered a cleaning and concierge company in New Jersey and am taking my time (and little resources) to buy my Vacuum cleaners, solutions etc one by one. And you know what… the company will become operational much faster than awaiting the big loans or the big check. Similarly, my soon to be launched entertainment magazine, YaadNoyz Magazine has enormous potential to be a heavy player in the Entertainment Media industry, but I am building it slowly and carefully, using the resources available now while seeking more and progressing forward at all times.

Apply David’s “Eureka!!” moment to your own life and business development strategy. Instead of being stagnant because of lack of money and resources, use what you already have to build from the bottom up… of course, without compromising quality and your own standards. You will be in great company with EBay, You Tube, Yahoo and PayPal which all used this building-block strategy (The TPE way).

Thanks for this early morning inspiration David (I read it at 5:30AM). Anyway, I am out… have blocks to build!

Being Brave & Moving Forward

Aundra Dyke

I believe in moving forward and upward at all times. Any stopping must be to smell the roses before we move forward to find the garden in another location. Many times life throws us curve balls and places us on a road we didn’t plan to be on. It wasn’t a part of our ‘map’. We become stagnant and frozen…

…frozen in fear, in doubt…

BUT THIS IS THE TIME TO START MOVING!

Aundra Dyke is a most inspiring woman I met on Twitter, Her site is reflective and filled with wonderful motivational tips and food for thought. She is my guest blogger today speaking on being brave and moving forward in the face of fear. Enjoy her words…I know I did!!!

Aundra:

If we move beyond where we are the past cannot follow………

Have you ever felt stalled, paused, stuck, resting or waiting? I’m sure you’ve gotten that feeling of not moving forward or even shifting at the moment. Some of us spend weeks and days reflecting on our lives, we lose sleep over it, obsess over it, analyze and re-analyze. Sometimes we come up with half-way decent answers and other times we find ourselves at a complete loss for words. The private meetings we seem to hold in our heads can lead to confusion and chaos.

I’m convinced that this anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I “should be” and what I am. My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it. It seems to begin whenever I smuggle into my mind an expectation about how I or others should be. It is the tension between my desire to control the world and the recognition that I can’t.

It is never a good idea to bank on what we may have tomorrow. It makes even less sense to dwell on what we had yesterday. The only thing that really matters is what we can do right now.

One of our greatest stress inducers in our life is tomorrow, for it is the unknown. We tend to worry if “it” will happen, if “it” would happen, what if “it” does happen. Then we spend time planning for what may never come. We do that because we think we know the past. We remember it so well, particularly the pain, the dark days and the unpleasantness we’ve seen. Most of us are stuck in the memory, ideals, pain or trauma of the past. At times we hold the people around us responsible for the things they did to us in yesteryear.

We also spend our present time and energy protecting the future from the past. We fail to realize one is over the other as yet to come. What we know is now and what we have complete control over is—- now. Try to remember that nothing can be promised, nor can we own what is no longer. If we do our best in this moment, we have no time to worry about what may come or has gone.

Life doesn’t have to be a strain or a struggle, when the time comes for growth and change, we MUST have the courage and faith to let go.

Whatever leaves my life makes room for something better

This post was submitted by Aundra Dyke

www.keystomykarma.com

Are you facing a similar challenge in your own life? Are you at a crossroads or on a road you didn’t think you would find yourself? Share your story and your decision to MOVE FORWARD!

The “God will Provide” Family Plan

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I had a semi-heated debate with my cousin that started off with me saying that my husband wants a child even though we can’t afford to feed ourselves (of course I was joking…we can feed ourselves…most times). Her response was “God will provide”.

There are people who truly believe this blank statement when it comes to family planning. Don’t get me wrong. I do know that God will provide a means for me to not have my child starve, but I don’t think this is a reason to start family planning.

I asked my cousin about situations where fathers refuse to assist the (single, financially-challenged) mothers. Her response; “God will provide. The child won’t starve.” What about those who ARE suffering? God isn’t providing for them?

Too many people recklessly plan with blind hope that things will simply “work out” and they will “cross that bridge when they get there”. Perhaps I am too much of a control freak; I mean I plan every hour of my day, so planning a family must be done with impeccable detail and most precise timing.

What do people really think about this method of life planning and family planning? If “God will provide” so just do it? Why work? Why aspire to anything? Why not simply go forth and populate?

I am so passionate about PLANS and MAPPING one’s life, it seems ludicrous to purposefully plunge into a big commitment as parenthood without a sensible plan. If I am blessed with a child before I reach what I think is my ideal time for a family, I will be elated and have to make the necessary adjustments in my life to provide the best environment for her (I want a girl). But until then, I am putting things in place to ensure the best possible life when that time comes; rather than to hope for the best.

I think the “God will provide” plan is a very archaic and backwards way of thinking. Not smart. Too many dysfunctional families already exist because of this approach to family planning.

Of course one may counter that if we wait on the ‘perfect’ time, it will never happen. It will happen; When I own a house, have a successful venture and feel financially stable (not necessarily rich…just stable). THAT makes sense, to me.

What about you? What is your view on the great debate? The “God Will Provide” family plan?

GOOD “WORTH” ETHIC

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“The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.” Dr Nathaniel Branden

In all aspects of our lives we find ourselves evaluating our worth. Are we worthy of this clique of friends, do we fit into a certain school, are we good enough for that guy or girl…

Our esteem and self-worth are tied into a number of factors. Family status, money, career, education, experience even fashion sense all play roles in our feeling of worthiness (or worthlessness) at different stages in life. We put a value on our selves.

In the business world the same challenges exist. We must rate ourselves and express this value to our colleagues and employers. Self-employed entrepreneurs often have to set rates that reflect the worth of the company and the products and services offered. There is a popular story of a gentleman who went into a consulting business after leaving his job of many years. After finishing a presentation to a potential client, the VP of Operations of the company invited him in to discuss the terms of agreement.

Of course the gentleman expected a long, wordy document with legal jargon but instead got a single sheet of paper with the following 4 words:

Rate….. Hours…… Other Conditions…….

Being taken off guard, the gentleman said he will take the going rate of the competitors; but the VP insisted he wrote a quote.

Several months into the project, after good results, the VP decided to share a tip with the gentleman:

“I know that you have not been in business for yourself before, but whether it is your own business or a job, you must know your worth all the time. We were willing to pay you twice as much because that is what we had assessed in terms of what you could do to save our biggest customer from moving away.” He continued, “So now that we have been able to regain our customer’s confidence in us with your help, how much are you worth?” And he again gave him a piece of paper to fill up. It had the same four words as the first one. The gentleman had poor ‘worth’ ethic (sure he didn’t after!)

My husband is one of the most talented music producers and audio mixing engineers I know. He is extremely knowledgeable but refuses to add audio mixing to his list of services offered by our music production company. He doesn’t think he is ‘good enough’… doesn’t think his skills are of enough worth to be paid for. It’s great to be a perfectionist (speaking as one myself) but after a while we need to realize our strengths and not be afraid to explore new areas of our business. This is poor ‘worth’ ethic.

As a business owner or an employee; you must regularly do an analysis of the portfolio of your capabilities and services (talents) and determine what it is worth. This allows you to:

· Assess your strengths and explore opportunities to expand the business

· Improve on the weaknesses, increasing your company’s worth.

· Create confidence in the consumers and clients about the quality of the products and services (coupled with reputation, of course)

· Put yourself in a position for promotions

Always remember the importance of good “worth” ethic!!!

The Pursuit of Happiness

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I have been in a most reflective mood since my birthday last Thursday. As usual, I look back on the past year and weigh in on the progress in the pursuit of my happiness. I thought it best to invite my dear friend, Kirk Nugent - Motivational Speaker, International Success Coach and Author - to be my guest blogger while I take the time to reflect:

The Pursuit of Happiness

I’ve found that most people are governed by the idea that happiness is elusive and is only reserved for a selected few. However, if we closely examine that idea, we’ll find that happiness is by no means elusive; we just tend to attach fleeting ideas to what happiness is and where to find it.

The happiest people that I know are children, yet their happiness is not attached to any long term goal. They seem to get true joy from whatever experience they’re having at that particular moment. They’re really not in search of anyone to complete them. Children seem to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, as we get older we tend to move away from that. If a child is feeling hungry, a simple breast being stuck in his/her mouth, and instantly he/she has achieved bliss.

As adults, we’ve adopted the idea that happiness must be deferred and it must yield to more prudent and practical practices. So we tell ourselves:

“I’ll be happy after my divorce.”

“I’ll be happy once the kids are off to college.”

“I’ll be happy once I get my promotion.”

“I’ll be happy once I lose 20 pounds.”

What we’ve forgotten is that happiness is an inside job. Until we’re happy with the person that we are on the inside, no external thing or person will ever bring us true joy. Sure there will be fleeting moments of what appears to be happiness, but true joy comes from constantly working on being the best you that you can be. True joy comes when you’re on purpose, consciously working on your spiritual growth.

The other key to happiness is so simple that most people go to their grave and never get this concept.

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!

Too many of us have jobs that are held but hated, relationships that are tolerated. End these life sapping experiences today. Yea, yea, yea, I can hear you, “Oh Kirk it’s not that easy.” I never said it was easy, but it’s certainly is possible. Make a commitment to be happy and start to consciously move in that direction. If you’re in a dead end relationship, don’t go pointing fingers at your mate. That will only bring you more misery, rather take a pro active solution and ask yourself, “What is it about me that I need to change or work on so that I can stop ATTRACTING these low energies into my life?”

If it’s the job that’s getting you down, ask yourself, ”What line of work would bring me absolute bliss?” Then start looking for that, or begin by taking classes so that you can be qualified for such a position. No one is coming to save you; you have to participate in your own rescue.

True happiness is not affected by the rising cost of gasoline, but rather true happiness is grateful to have a car that still runs. In short, ‘Happiness’ is not something to be pursued; it is a state of mind to be practiced. The first step is gratitude…if you’re reading this you’re more fortunate than most of the inhabitants of the world…you my friend have access to a computer, not only that, you’re literate!

Start with being grateful for EVERY experience, try not to label them as good or bad, but ask, “What is the purpose of this experience, what is life trying to teach me.” Happiness is being YOU, whoever the hell that is, but at the same time ALLOWING others to be who they are. (Whoever the hell that might be)

You’re not here to save the world, allow your fellow human beings to grow at their own rate. Remember that the easiest way to make an enemy is to try and change somebody. So be happy with who you are, be grateful for your experiences and allow others to be whoever they wish to be.

Adopt this simple formula and in no time, you too my friend will find yourself sucking from the nipple of bliss. (Pun intended)

Kirk Nugent

http://www.kirknugent.com/

Kirk Nugent
International Success Coach
Author, Speaker, Trainer
2005 & 2006 Best Lecture of the Year, awarded by Winthrop University
2004 Best Performing Artist, by Association for The Promotion of Campus Activities

Don’t think I could have said it better! I simply have to reinforce the simple and powerful statement:

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!

Have a HAPPY day!

How Young is too Young to be a Sex Symbol?

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I was doing my usual morning reading and came across the Letter to the Editor in the Jamaica Gleaner. Dr Marcie Hamilton expressed concern about a sexily clad 13 year old being a finalist in a model search competition. Looking at the teen in her bikini, I had flashbacks of my mother picking out my one piece swimsuit and making it brilliantly clear that I can wear a bikini when I was an adult and not before!

Age restriction is an ongoing debate in the world of fashion, but with the statistical rise (and increasing awareness) of eating disorders and other psychological issues that seem to plague the industry, there has been strict enforcement of bans on underage catwalk models in recent times. Paris, Milan and later Brazil are a few places that have defined the minimum age for catwalk modeling as 16 years old. So is this what we define then as the ‘acceptable’ age for a teen to be a sex symbol? Are these 16 year old girls allowed to pose nude or be scantily dressed in adult clothing? Are they, at this age, responsible enough to be ogled and judged by (often much older) gentlemen (and women) while maintaining confidence and a realistic grasp on life as a teenager?

What about the startling increase in cases of pedophilia globally? Is a 16 year old sex symbol not fueling the disorder? The modeling and fashion industries seem wrought with very adult issues, much more pressure than the already tricky high school issues typical teenagers face daily. Can a teenager at ages 13, 14, 15, 16…17 even, handle these problems while still maintaining the innocence of childhood? Or are they forced into premature adulthood? Parents often live vicariously through their children and are more that elated to have daughters involved in the glitzy world of glamour; often oblivious to the potential long-term harmful effects this may have.

What can be done in an industry where your best years have already passed at age 20? Does being a fashion model automatically mean you are a sex symbol or is it just art? And is a 13, 14, 16 year old sex symbol model any different from a teen actress? The Miley Cyrus ‘scandal’ has brought the issue of teen sex symbols to the fore in recent times. Teen models and actresses are no new phenomena, so what is the secret behind those who seem to be able to separate the very adult world from their personal life..and even when this is successfully done, is it still right? When is young too young to be a sex symbol?

Here are some of the comments I got about the topic:

Nykkiicia WordPlay Cion

Many youngsters get involved in competition such as this and it’s ultimately the parents’ choice whether or not to allow them to do so. I may agree where the clothes she is required to wear are concerned but because she is 13 doesn’t mean she’ll end up a sexed up, drugged out anorexic! Simply being at school in today’s society is a risk since there are overwhelming pressures there to have sex and be thin and ‘fabulous’. Why not just home school all our children??? I believe if the parents are there for every step of the journey she is about take, she will be just fine - her biggest risk is the type of parents she has.

Rees Hines

I think the main difference between kids now and as 15 years ago is that they grow up way too fast. Children are exposed to too much too fast and somewhere along the line forget to enjoy being a kid. Looking at the picture, I think it’s too much, however i agree that it is ultimately the parent’s choice. If her parents see nothing wrong with it then we can only hope that she is mature enough to deal with the adult issues this competition brings. Personally, if it was my 13 year old it would be a cold day in hell before she’d be doing that competition.

Peter Wright

Isn’t this soft child porn? I don’t know what goes through people’s mind but if I were an agency, I wouldn’t be putting a teenager so young in a bikini and letting her model… the pedophiles must love this.

What are your views on the issue?

Real Stories of the Laws of Attraction at Work

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According to Steve Pavlina (Personal Development Guru- Steve Pavlina ); “The Law of Attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest”.

The release of the DVD, The Secret caused a ‘law of attraction frenzy’ amongst the population. According to the proponents, the Law of Attraction has 4 basic principles:

  • Know our desires and ask for it.
  • Focus our thoughts on the things we desire with enthusiasm or gratitude.
  • Feel and behave as if we already acquired it.
  • Be open to receiving it.

I am a great believer of the law of attraction. Why wouldn’t I be? I am living proof that it is true!! Let me share with you some stories of the law working in my own life.

Story 1:

While working as a medical technology intern at our regional hospital in Jamaica, I heard an announcement over the PA system that our hospital CEO received the national award for “Boss of the Year”. I soon found out that the CEO was 28 Years old… impressive achievements for such a young man. I wanted to network with him and learn his story and secrets to his success. There was to be a meeting with the hospital CEO and the Laboratory staff and I decided to introduce myself to him there.

Location Location Location

The CEO, Everton Anderson, sat at the head of the conference table and I positioned myself in the center of the long side of the table…right in his natural line of vision. I was listening keenly to his address. Speakers tend to seek an attentive listener to make eye contact with, so he found me and was often speaking directly to me (most of the others appeared disinterested).

During the seemingly unending debate between the two departments, I raised my hand and made a suggestion:

“Why don’t you create a position or appoint a person to carry out a laboratory investigation and create a strategic plan to improve the operations of the pathology laboratory?”

He thought it was a fantastic idea and asked; “why don’t you do it?”

“But I am an intern…leaving soon.”

“Doesn’t matter. Do it and we will see how it works out.”

BINGO! I was making myself recognized and indispensible…in the event that I wanted to apply for a fulltime position after the internship period. Since then I had to meet with the CEO to share my ideas and results and my strategic plan was well appreciated. I learned a lot from Everton Anderson and use many of the principles even today.

Story 2

My dad is my hero. I am forever ‘daddy’s little girl’. He and my mom introduced me to leadership and motivation through Dale Carnegie books, Les Brown cassettes (yes, cassettes…you know…finish side one and turn over to side B to continue listening!) He also introduced me to Kirk Nugent’s CD.

Kirk Nugent is a motivational speaker, poet, author, born in Jamaica and based in Florida. I fell in love with his Pursue Your Passion CD. Fast-forward a few years; I created my MySpace site and wrote as my heroes – my dad, Kirk Nugent, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry “anyone who overcame the obstacles to achieve their goals”.

A few months ago (2 years after having this on my profile) I received a message from Kirk Nugent telling me he loved the work I was doing in the entertainment industry. I was excited to receive such a message of laud from someone whom I admired so much. We began communicating and sharing ideas and he eventually asked me to do some promotional work with him in the Caribbean market.

WOWWWWWW!!!

Even better…I earned mention on his revised CD “I Just Want to Testify”. We collaborate often and he is now a contributor to my YaadNoyz Newsletter and upcoming online magazine, YaadNoyz Magazine.

__________________________________

See? I put it out there to one day meet people with whom I can network and learn and share my own entrepreneurship and leadership ideas. The Law of Attraction is real. I am not without my disappointments, but I still stand by the fact that positive thought manifests itself in success, achievements and self fulfillment.

The Breakdown

There is a process to it too. What really happens (this is my own break down of the law) is that once we focus on something we want; our mind starts to calculate how to get that desire met. Then we start to put those thoughts into actions, resulting in us achieving what we want without consciously calculating how to do it. When we couple our desires with conscious and strategic planning, we can achieve almost anything.

On the flip side, if we believe we cannot achieve a certain feat or desire, our mind ‘believes’ it and makes no effort to get it; instead it starts to accept the fact that it cannot satiate the desire and aim for a lesser feat…the mind ‘settles’.

I have never been a ‘settler’; I strive for only the best! I strive for complete and total happiness and each obstacle only serves to strengthen my character and makes my future biography that much more interesting (smile).

I would love to hear stories of the Law of Attraction working in your own life.

Power of the Pen- The ‘Tongue’ of the Mind

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Depression is a plague, give not power to it and let it remain vague. There is power in the tongue and power in the pen. Leave it from the mouth and strike it from the page, writing it only makes it temporarily dormant, for one day the beast will leave the cage. OJ Irons (II)

I was in a video call today with OJ, a music executive friend in Canada, when we started talking about writing and poetry. I expressed that I wrote my best poems when depressed (this was years ago). I told him that my expressions would shock my friends since my countenance was always so positive and I was always smiling. I was hard on myself and questioned my purpose on this earth. No one knew my sadness; writing was the therapy that allowed me to vent my feelings. No one read it, so no one knew; since I never showed it… It was the equivalent of writing that angry letter that you never mail!

OJ said, “Never do that. Don’t write anything negative about yourself”. He insisted that when depressed, we should write something uplifting and positive to counter the negative thoughts.

I was floored.

I am one if the biggest proponent of positivity and the belief that we should never give light to anything that pulls us down - yet I NEVER gave a second thought to the adverse effects of WRITING negative words. I was busy preaching the power of the tongue and forgot about the power of the pen!

“The pen is the tongue of the mind.”
Miguel De Cervantes

Of course! Why wouldn’t it be the same? While writing during our vulnerable time of depression our hearts and minds are open to negative elements and influences. I boasted that I never allowed my depression to define me at the time, but penning the feelings of worthlessness must have given some power to the thought. Now, in retrospect, I know it indeed had an effect on my subconscious and my self- esteem.

We should be more mindful of allowing these feelings of doubt, anger, and depression to enter our thoughts and manifest itself in our words and writings. It WILL manifest itself in our lives. Each of us has much to offer… the spice that variety brings to this tasty pot called life.

Speak and write of good things, things we hope for, things we are strong in, things we can offer society to make it a better place for our generation and the next.

Think it, believe it, write it, and say it!